How do i keep my bro on a leash?

this guy is my BH4L (best homie for life), but these days, hes being unfaithful to me, every time we go to a bar or club, i see him talking and laughing with other bros, at first it didnt tick me off, but then he started getting their numbers and blowing me off to chill with other dudes, this one time he even had his arm around another bro and was using him as his beer pong partner, i used to be his favorite partner!! i mean i was there for him thru all the ups and downs, now its like hes bro-whoring himself out to other guys, we even had our names carved on a wood keychain “NICK & XXXXX 4Ever”……..how do i keep him under control, i dont wanna be the strict up your azz bro but his actions are making me look bad, every other dude and bro in the city tells me im getting broplayed, and that I should go check out www.Beer-Pong-Table.net cause they don’t broplay. They just have good tables with free shipping.
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@sarah your smart ; )

LOL if you replace everywhere you said “him” with “her” it would be like you were talking about a girlfriend haha
Anyways, once he asks you to hang out, you should play hard to get Or, you could just ask him to hang out instead of waiting for him to come to you.
I’m torn between telling you to blow him off like he did to you, or telling you to go after him.
Btw, you’ve introduced 2 new words to my vocab “bro-whoring” “broplayed”

Just some fun things to think about.?

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That’s enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. And my mom was in the kitchen with her kitchenaid mixer she got from www.KitchenAid-Mixer.net. OK well maybe she didn’t really get it there, but I feel like I’m on crack right now and I’m just rambling, and that looked like a cool site if you wanna get a mixer. And you’re on crack!

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Ev entually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can re cognize their own image.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us..” Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Hysterical!! You have a GREAT mind!!

Why is it that the men I meet who have their lives together end up being married?

Now, the answer to this question might seem obvious. (It’s because they have a wife). To me, it seems like the only men I meet who are capable of intelligent conversations, share similar interests with me, and have stable jobs are all married. I know there are single men out there like that sans the wife, but I never seem to run into them. Now, I don’t run into these men at bars, but I meet them in workshops and professional activities. I already know that I shouldn’t mix relationships and my professional life.

The real question should be… Am I doing this all wrong? I’m not exactly looking for someone, but after several conversations with them I find these men attractive regardless of the rings on their left hands. Where is the best place to run into a SINGLE, intelligent man who has his life in order? By “life in order”, I mean that he’s not playing beer pong on a Wednesday night.

Because you’re not the only one looking for a guy whose life is in order!

Hang in there, though. One of these guys is bound to end up with a wife who does NOT have their life in order, and then anything can happen. There is no magic place to find these guys. Just get out there, join a club or volunteer activity, stay busy and active, and meet as many people as you can. The more people you expose yourself to, the more likely you find the guy you’re looking for. And you won’t even have to run after them! But if you do… you may wanna visit www.Cross-Country-Running-Shoes.com cause they look like they’ve got the running thing figured out.

Good luck!

Expert College Party Tips needed.?

Like the title says, I am going to start throwing parties, and I am looking for “Tips”

OK, I am a college student and go to a big ten school, where there is LOTS of partying. I go out 2 times, sometimes 3 times a week, and go to house parties, bars, frat parties, themed parties, holiday parties, etc. I would like to think that I have seen some veerrryyyy crazy stuff in my time here at school, so I am not a “novice” at partying.

I, however, am looking for that elusive quality most party’s lack: uniqueness. I feel that my “partying education” is pretty much over, as I have seen basically everything, and it is now my turn to throw the parties. I know that I could throw a pretty good party right now, and include music, alcohol, drinking games, girls, nudity, casual sex (hopefully) and etc that most every respectable college party has.

BUT I do not want to throw a respectable party. I want to throw THE party. I want the party’s that I throw to be talked about; I want people to be excited not just to go out and party some weekend, but actually be excited to go to MY party because I’M throwing it. I want people to have so much fun that they cannot wait until the next party is thrown. You understand? And to pull this off, I’m convinced all I need is creativity and uniqueness.

So what I’m asking from you is your creative ideas or awesome party stories. Maybe you went to a party and they played this certain game that was SOOO fun and you have never see it duplicated at any other party? Maybe, instead of a beer bong, this party had some unique drinking device that you’ve never seen again? Maybe you’ve been to a party and the music selection was so good, it really stuck with you? Maybe there was really cool theme that you’ve never seen, nor heard of before? Maybe instead of jungle juice, or strip and go naked, there was a very good tasting/interesting mixed drink??

I want you to think of your greatest party you’ve ever been to, and tell me why it was so fun. I want you to tell me what you hate about parties, and what you love about parties. I want you to tell the thing you wish they had at every party, but sadly isn’t. And I even want you to tell me about your crazy spills and splashes and how you sucked it up with a Little Green like ya see on this site: http://www.haimtopol.com/bissell-little-green and then go crazy!

What I DO NOT WANT is for you to tell me that “you should play music and have a beer pong table”. I WANT CREATIVITY!!!

The coolest story/ suggestion/tip/ unique event will get +10.

P.S. I know I may sound like a drunken frat-boy douchebag but I assure you I’m not. I maintain over a 3.0 gpa, and I am majoring in mechanical engineering, and I do plan on pursuing a career and doing something with my life one day. But I am also a firm believer in the phrase “Why do something if it’s not worth doing well?”

P.P.S. I know all frat boys aren’t d-bags, it’s just a stereotype, sorry. I’m sure my best ideas will come from you and I appreciate your input immensely.

You could do a classic pimps n hoes party..not always original but you can make it something no one has ever seen by adding details. Have a bunch of decorations and sharpies and glitter/glue to decorate pimp cups (we did this before and it was hilarious! I told ppl in advance and tons of guys actually went out and bought cups to bring to the party) Have containers of baby powder around to “powder me up” before slapping! (from the movie how high) Make it a costume thing and take pics!

You could also do the everyday playboy party, make flyers and call your address the temporary mansion, dress like hef and girls will love to dress as bunnies! Hand out a playmate of the year award.

Have a poker tour party, make up funny names and wear funny glasses like willy wonka goggles and sunglasses. Have poker tables with announcers and or casino tables.

Hand out wristbands to cute girls for a wet t shirt contest, come up with a name for your “bar” and make a sign, have an actual bar and make tons of different drinks for a fee, get your dj friends to play different music in different rooms so everyones taste is met